Good News!

All of my test results (pet scan, MRI, bloodwork) came back GOOD! No evidence of any cancer remaining. My white blood cell count is a little low still, and I'm slightly anemic, but Dr. Kellogg said that's to be expected. Those numbers should slowly come back up.

Now I just have to KEEP the cancer away!!

Genetic Testing

I should be getting my results from my genetic testing in 10-14 business days! I am totally surprised at how SOON I will be getting them. I was thinking it might take up to 6 weeks or so. I am pretty anxious to get my hands on those results!!

Follow Up With Dr. Woo

Yesterday I had my follow up appointment with Dr. Woo, my Radiation Oncologist. He examined me and said everything looked good. He was glad that I had the mammogram already done. I told him I wanted to have the rest of my reconstructive surgery done before the end of the year. He said I should wait until the end of November or early December. He said I did really well with the radiation and didn't have any skin reactions, but he thought it would be best to give my tissue some more time to heal.

I took Jake with me to my appointment and it was funny hearing all of the comments from people who work there, and complete strangers. Dr. Woo asked how old Jake was and I told him he will be 2 next month. He said, "TWO!!?? He's bigger than my 4 year-old!!". It was funny! Jake is almost bigger than MY 4 year-old, too!

I also had my breast MRI done yesterday afternoon. It had been rescheduled from last week. Even with the headphones they put on me, that machine is still SO LOUD! I HATE loud noises. Always have. Probably always will. I kept giving myself pep talks..."It's going to start buzzing...don't jump...RELAX...". I tried to enjoy the music that was playing through the headphones (Nickelback...one of my favs!) and tune the machine out. Needless to say, I was glad when they got me out of that thing.

I go in on Thursday to see Dr. Kellogg and to get my Herceptin. I will find out all of my results then. I also got bloodwork done today and, boy, was that FUN! I took Jake and Ty with me because usually around 10am, there's not much of a wait. Well it was packed today! We waited for over an hour and Jake had HAD IT. I kept my cool though, and fought the urge to walk out. I HAD to get the bloodwork done today so Dr. Kellogg can have my results by Thursday when I see him. Anyhoo, we survived. Next time, I won't be bringing blondie with me.

And This Is Why I Love My Doctor...

I saw Dr. Layton (OB/GYN) yesterday for my yearly exam. He sat down and talked with me for quite a while...shaking his head when I told him about what surgeries/treatments I've been through over the course of 8 months. He said I was his youngest patient to have been diagnosed with breast cancer and how GLAD he was that I saw Dr. Schuster (the general surgeon who Dr. Layton referred me to) even when my mammogram/ultrasound came back "normal". If Dr. Layton hadn't recommended that I see Dr. Schuster "just to be safe", even when my results from the previous tests came back normal.....I wouldn't have gone. I wouldn't have been worried about it since the tests were normal. I wouldn't have had the biopsy done. It's a scarey thought.

We talked about having my ovaries removed. Bottom line: his recommendation is to wait, unless I find out for sure that I'm BRCA positive. He said I need to think about "quality of life" too, and once the ovaries are gone, I would most likely have BAD hot flashes/night sweats and all those other "fun" things women go through when dealing with menopause. Except, for me, they won't be able to treat me for those symptoms. The treatment is with hormones, and I can't take hormones because my cancer was "estrogen receptor positive".

So, after our long chat, and after discussing it with Curt, I am going to go ahead with the genetic testing...bite the bullet...and pay $3000 out of pocket. I would feel much more confident making a decision about whether to keep my ovaries or not when I know for sure if I'm BRCA positive/negative. It makes so much more sense to me and is a huge weight off of my shoulders.

My First Quilt

I have FINALLY started making my very first quilt! Why the girlie colors, you wonder, when I live with a house full of boys?? Well... because this quilt is for

Nie Nie.

There are some online auctions and a fall event on October 18th in Mesa to raise proceeds for Stephanie and Christian's recovery. I am donating this quilt to be sold, so I hope it turns out!

I still have to do the binding and back of it, but it's getting there!

My Sweet Luke

Tonight we watched Stand Up To Cancer. It was for a great cause...cancer research and finding a cure. They mentioned a lot of statistics...1 in every 2 men will get cancer...1 in every 3 women will get cancer...10,000 people are diagnosed with cancer every week.

It was neat to watch, but I'm not so sure it was a great idea to watch it with our kids in the room...mainly Luke. I think all the talk of how many people die from cancer was a little too much for him. After I tucked the two little ones in bed, I was walking back into the family room and I heard Luke asking Curt something. When he saw me come back into the room he stopped and didn't want to finish asking his question. So I went out of the room so he would feel comfortable enough to continue asking his daddy whatever questions were on his mind. I could hear bits and pieces of their conversation.

Luke: "If Mommy dies, how will I get to school and who will take care of me after school? Will I have to go to Kids Express? (a before/after school program for kids whose parents work)

Daddy: "Grandma would be able to be there and would help me take care of you."

Luke: "Grandma will be my new mommy???"

Daddy: "No. She won't. But she will help us and I would find another job that would let me be home with you more."

Aww. My heart was breaking again for this little 6 year-old who has worries that typically only us grown ups have. I did a good job holding back the tears. I didn't want my tears to upset him even more. So Luke and I hugged and snuggled for a little while. I told him that he didn't need to worry about me and that I try really hard to not be worried or scared about the cancer coming back. I told him that Heavenly Father has blessed us so much and that we should try to be grateful.

When I look at the picture of Luke and I above, it saddens me that we had absolutely no idea what sorrow the next few years would bring us. Of course, there has been much happiness too!

Luke, Ty, and Jake have all been brought to our family at such important times. My boys have given me so much strength, joy, and love that I have needed to get me through many difficult times. Luke had just turned 2 when my mom died and having him to take care of after mom's death got me out of bed each morning. I was also a few weeks pregnant with Ty and the excitement of anticipating a new baby and knowing that I needed to take care of my body also kept me going. And of course, there's my "baby" Jake. My baby who was the only one that I nursed and am so glad I stuck with it! He has brought so many smiles and much happiness into our home during my cancer journey.

So maybe that picture above is really demonstrating me and Luke getting our "game faces" on and trying to get geared up for where life was going to take us.

My Quiet(er) Weekend

Curt's grandparents and aunt flew into town on Saturday, and were headed to the cabin along with my in-laws. I suggested to Curt to take the older two boys up as well, and I would stay home with Jake. I was reeeeally looking forward to some down time at home and I also needed to help take dinner to a family in our ward on Monday. So Saturday afternoon after he got home from work, Curt drove Luke and Ty to Snowflake for a couple of days. Luke had a hard time telling his mommy good bye. He was sobbing and kept hugging me...not wanting to let go. I felt so bad for him. I'm sure these past few months have made it difficult for him to be away from me, and to not want me out of his sight. I knew he and Ty would have so much fun at the cabin with all of the family there, so I encouraged him to go and have fun.

Meanwhile, back here at the ranch, I could not believe how clingy Jake was! He barely touched his toys the whole time his brothers were gone. He basically sat on my lap, climbed all over me, laid on me, and followed me around for two days! I actually LOVED it!! Jake definitely enjoyed having his mommy all to himself and not once did he look around the house wondering where his brothers were.

He was my big helper in the backyard. I spent probably a total of 4 hours cleaning up our backyard...pulling weeds, moving rocks, throwing junk out, trimming plants/trees. After showering up from that sweat-fest, and while Jake was taking his nap, I decided to tackle the garage. Once I start...I can't stop!! It was, of course, stinking hot in the garage, but I was so happy to have a clean and organized (somewhat) garage again.

On Curt's drive home from Snowflake, I told him that I had cleaned up the backyard and the garage. He decided that he and the boys needed to stop along the way and get me a surprise for working so hard. This is what my surprise was, along with a sweet thank you card from my wonderful hubby!! Thank you, Babe. I love you!!