I Am Not Alone

This clip (below) is a powerful reminder to me that I am not alone in my suffering, trials, or seemingly insignificant daily annoyances that I may be experiencing. He is the one person who knows exactly what we are feeling and I am grateful to be able to turn to Him for comfort. I know that I have not been able to get through the deaths and trials in our family alone. I HAVE to lean on Christ and his example. Otherwise, I would surely fall apart.

This is a clip from the Reflections of Christ exhibit that is currently going on at the Mesa Arizona Temple visitor's center. I have not gone to see it yet, but after seeing this clip, I will make it a priority when I'm feeling better. Who wants to go with me??

http://mabrystudios.typepad.com/reflections_of_christ

S.L.O.W.L.Y. Crawling Out of the Hole...

If you haven't noticed...I've been in hiding. The past couple of weeks I haven't had much energy, so that has made it easier for me to shut the world out and become a recluse. I get my 4th treatment tomorrow and am both looking forward to it, and dreading it. I'm dreading it because I know I am going to feel like crap-o-la for at least 4 days, but it will also be my HALF WAY mark!! Yippee!

I am definitely ready and looking forward to being DONE with this whole thing and tomorrow I will be one step closer!

My step mom, Debbie, has been staying with us for the past 6 days and she has been such a HUGE help with the kids, laundry, cooking, cleaning, etc. We will definitely miss her when she flies back home on Saturday. I know my dad will be happy to have her back!

And, just for fun, here are 12 things that I L.O.V.E....

* the smell of the orange trees blossoming
* winter in Arizona
* Ty's goofy faces and crazy immagination
* Luke's sweet notes/drawings about his momma
* Jake's adorable smile and when he says "oh!" when his waffle pops up in the toaster
* when Curt kisses the top of my bald head
* my awesome group of girlfriends (near and far)
* pajamas
* slippers
* the Gospel and the guidance/direction it gives me in my life
* my amazing Ward!
* any Brad Pitt movie

I Stand Corrected

My husband pointed out that what we've qualified for through the Health Well Foundation won't take care of ALL of our out-of-pocket expenses. He thinks it's just to cover my meds, but obviously we will look in to it further to figure out just what exactly it does cover.

Just thought I needed to clear that up.

I MADE IT!!

It's Saturday morning and I am feeling fine and I'm HOME! I had a little scare yesterday morning, though...

I woke up yesterday morning with a dull headache and some body aches. That is usually how my episode starts. I was a bit on edge, thinking..."OH CRAP!! I celebrated too soon." The boys were able to spend the day and night at their grandma's house so that I could rest. As the day went on, I felt no worse and my temperature stayed in the normal range. I knew if I could just get to Saturday without a fever, I'd be in the clear! By then my WBC's would be built back up enough to fight off whatever bug I had caught.

So fast forward to today...Saturday...and I feel good...no aches!! WOO HOO!!

Oh HAPPY Day!

Today is a good day for mainly 2 reasons...

#1- It is 3:13 in the afternoon and I DO NOT have a fever (yet)!! I am starting to get a little excited to think that the cycle has possibly been broken!!

#2- I just opened 2 letters from The HealthWell Foundation stating that we have been APPROVED and will be able to receive financial assistance to pay for my medical expenses!! HOO-stinkin'-RAY!! That will cover all of our out-of-pocket expenses...NO MORE co-pay's for a year!!

And, to top it off, Monda brought me a cream slush from Sonic! MMmmmm...

I'm Still Here

I guess I've been a procrastinator lately (what's new, right?) and haven't posted a new update. The Claritin and Ibuprofen trick didn't work for me. I had the aches until about Monday. The nausea finally went away around the same time, too. For the most part, anyway.

Today is Wednesday and I feel better than I did a few days ago, but still have zero energy. The boys have been spending most of their time at Grandma's house so that I can try to rest and limit myself to exposure to germs (if that's possible). I think spring break came at a perfect time. The boys won't be coming home from school carrying germs from the other kids and HOPEFULLY I won't come down with something this week. I am also keeping my kids from playdates this week in hopes of, again, avoiding germs from others. I feel bad keeping my boys away from their friends, but hopefully it will pay off. I know they don't like it when I'm in the hospital and I think they understand (as much as they can at this point). I'm just glad that Luke and Ty have each other! They are good little buddies most of the time and have fun playing together.

Tomorrow will be the 7th day since chemo and that is the day that I always start running a fever. Let's hope that we can BREAK THE CYCLE this week!!

Ughh...

Chemo #3 has been a lot rougher on me than the first two treatments were. I'm finally feeling better tonight, thank goodness. I have been a lot more nauseated this time and just plain wiped out. Luckily the boys were able to play at Grandma's house today so I was able to rest. Although I couldn't force myself to take a nap, I did just lounge in bed the majority of the day. I was wide awake this morning from 2:30-5:30am. That always happens the day I have chemo for some reason. Hopefully I'll be able to sleep better tonight.

We ran into Amy at the cancer center yesterday as we were leaving. That was the first time I had actually seen her in person. It was great to finally met her...face to face! It's been so good to talk with her on the phone and get tips and advice from her. She was telling me that chemo #3 and #4 are the worst. Once I get past those, the last 4 treatments are a breeze. I certainly hope so!

Curt took me to get my Neulasta shot today. I wasn't feeling well enough to drive this morning. The nurse giving me my shot today actually gave me some good advice. Usually the Neulasta causes my body to ache for about 3-4 days after. She told me to take Claritin and Ibuprofen to help stop the body aches. I'm hoping it works!

PET Scan

I had my first PET Scan last Thursday, and today I got the results. Good...except that I have a cyst on one of my ovaries, but the dr. doesn't think it's anything to worry about. He is going to keep an eye on it.

I am glad it came back good, except I can't help but wonder...is it really a cyst? or is it something else? I've been know to have cysts so it's no shocker...but it's difficult to not question everything now.

Chemo #3 is scheduled for Thursday of this week! That will be 3 down and 5 more to go!!