HIGH LIGHTS...and low lights

Today was my LAST day of chemo! My nurse Cynthia didn't want in the picture, but this is her gloved hand flushing my port. Tomorrow will be my LAST Neulasta shot, too! Hooray!

Curt and I dropped off the boys at Grandma's house on the way to chemo. They are staying the night with her tonight. After chemo, Curt wanted to take me out to dinner for a NO MORE CHEMO celebration...so we went to Olive Garden since I had a gift card from Mother's Day. Good food. Good laughs!

One of my best buds in the whole world! Kelly, her husband Tyson, and their 2 kiddos came to visit AZ for the long weekend. We had such a great time...now we just need to talk them into moving back to AZ!!

Some of my oldest peeps...Don, Kel, me, and Bryan. Kelly and I were room mates when I lived in AZ before I was married. Bryan and Don were our home teachers and have been our source of entertainment for many years! These peeps of mine have known me for about 10 years. (I don't mean they are necessarily "old" in age, ya know!)

Luke was nervous that he would forget I was sleeping in the office...since I had Kel and her family sleep in my master bedroom. So Luke made this little note to remind himself, in case he needed me during the night. I taped it on his door knob for him. Funny kid!

Luke feeding...

And Jake CHASING the birds at Tempe Town Lake!

The kids had fun playing baseball and Frisbee at the park, too.

Until this happened...and our trip was cut short. Kelly went with me to take Ty to the Urgent Care after he tripped while running lightening speed and bashed his mouth on the bench of the picnic table. 4 stitches later...we were sent on our way! Ty got to choose a treat and made sure to pick something for Luke, too. Ty was SOOO brave during the whole episode. I was so proud of him. Mom got a little woozy and sad watching them stick needles in my baby's mouth. But I made it through! (Did I mention that Curt was out of town during all of this???)

Luke, Simon, Ty and Helene watching Micky Mouse Clubhouse. Too busy to indulge me with a cute photo opp! They all played really well together and the house was unbelievably QUIET for having 5 kids ages 6 and under running around!

Good times watching Tyson ROCK OUT to Guitar Hero! Kelly was pretty good, too!

And lastly, my guitar cake that I made for Abbi's 7th birthday! Word on the street is that...it was a HIT!!

Red Marbles

A friend of ours e-mailed this story to us. I've read it before and don't know if it's a true story, but it is very touching none the less...

I was at the corner grocery store buying some early potatoes. I noticed a small boy, delicate of bone and feature, ragged but clean, hungrily apprizing a basket of freshly picked green peas.
I paid for my potatoes, but was also drawn to the display of fresh green peas. I am a pushover for creamed peas and new potatoes. Pondering the peas, I couldn't help overhearing the conversation between Mr. Miller (the store owner) and the ragged boy next to me.

'Hello Barry, how are you today?' 'H'lo, Mr. Miller. Fine, thank ya. Jus' admirin' them peas. They sure look good.' 'They are good, Barry. How's your Ma?' 'Fine. Gittin' stronger alla' time.' 'Good. Anything I can help you with?' 'No, Sir. Jus' admirin' th em peas.' 'Would you like take some home?' asked Mr. Miller. 'No, Sir. Got nuthin' to pay for 'em with.' 'Well, what have you to trade me for some of those peas?' 'All I got's my prize marble here.' 'Is that right? Let me see it' said Miller. 'Here 'tis. She's a dandy.' 'I can see that. Hmmmmm, only thing is this one is blue and I sort of go for red. Do you have a red one like this at home?' the store owner asked. 'Not zackley but almost.' 'Tell you what. Take this sack of peas home with you and next trip this way let me look at that red marble', Mr. Miller told the boy. 'Sure will. Thanks Mr. Miller.' Mrs. Miller, who had been standing nearby, came over to help me. With a smile said, 'There are two other boys like him in our community, all three are in very poor circumstances. Jim just loves to bargain with them for peas, apples, tomatoes, or whatever. When they come back with their red marbles, and they always do, he decides he doesn't like red after all and he sends them home with a bag of produce for a green marble or an orange one, when they come on their next trip to the store.' I left the store smiling to myself, impressed with this man.

A short time later I moved to Colorado , but I never forgot the story of this man, the boys, and their bartering for marbles. Several years went by, each more rapid than the previous one. Just recently I had occasion to visit some old friends in that Idaho community and while I was there learned that Mr. Miller had died. They were having his visitation that evening and knowing my friends wanted to go, I agreed to accompany them.

Upon arrival at the mortuary we fell into line to meet the relatives of the deceased and to offer whatever words of comfort we could. Ahead of us in line were three young men. One was in an army uniform and the other two wore nice haircuts, dark suits and white shirts...all very professional looking. They approached Mrs. Miller, standing composed and smiling by her husband's casket. Each of the young men hugged her, kissed her on the cheek, spoke briefly with her and moved on to the casket. Her misty light blue eyes followed them as, one by one, each young man stopped briefly and placed his own warm hand over the cold pale hand in the casket. Each left the mortuary awkwardly, wiping his eyes. Our turn came to meet Mrs. Miller. I told her who I was and reminded her of the story from those many years ago and what she had told me about her husband's bartering for marbles. With her eyes glistening, she took my hand and led me to the casket. 'Those three young men who just left were the boys I told you about. They just told me how they appreciated the things Jim 'traded' them. Now, at last, when Jim could not change his mind about color or size... they came to pay their debt.' 'We've never had a great deal of the wealth of this world,' she confided, 'but right now, Jim would consider himself the richest man in Idaho '. With loving gentleness she lifted the lifeless fingers of her deceased husband. Resting underneath were three exquisitely shined red marbles.

The Moral : We will not be remembered by our words, but by our kind deeds. Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath.

Busy Busy

I have been busy for the past week or so...and haven't taken the time to sit down and blog. I can't remember everything I've done over the past week, but a few things are still fresh in my mind. Like....cleaning my office, making Monda's daughter a guitar cake for her bday, cleaning bathrooms, mopping floors....and...OH YEAH!! My friend Kelly should be rolling into town in about 30 minutes!!!!! She and her family (hubby and 2 kiddos) are visiting from CA and will be staying with us until Tuesday!!!! I'm SUPER excited!!

It will also be GREAT to have company this weekend because Curt just left for Snowflake with his parents. Curt and his dad are going to finish the addition on the cabin and will be gone until Tuesday. Not terribly excited about Curt being gone for so long...and me being alone with 3 crazy boys for that long...BUT Kelly's visit is perfect timing!! I will have FUN this weekend fo sho!!

As far as chemo goes...by Monday/Tuesday I was feeling much better after chemo #7...sore achey body as usual. I had my Herceptin yesterday and have bloodwork to do and chemo #8 next week. WOO HOO!!

Vitamin D and Breast Cancer...

http://www.abcnews.go.com/Health/story?id=4873786&page=1

Read this. I found it very interesting.

Chemo #7

7th Chemo today and I am so excited to have only ONE LEFT now!! It took about 5 hours in the chemo room before Curt and I were heading back home.

Tomorrow morning I go in for my Neulasta shot. I hate getting that shot, but it supposedly helps so I can't NOT get it, right? It just stings going in and it makes my body ache for a few days after. I'm hoping my bone pain from this treatment will be pretty mild like last time. So far so good today, though. I feel fine!

Oh, and I found out today that my Mugga scan was normal, so that is good news.

AND, this, my friends, is my new "do"!! Tricia with the American Cancer Society told me to keep my old one, too, just in case I'm not happy with this one. She's so nice! I really like this wig because I can pull it back into a pony tail, straighten it, curl it, etc. etc. The possibilities are ENDLESS! It's a little poofy and froo froo for me, but it's a nice change. Monda said I looked like Ariel from the Little Mermaid. If only I had the voice (and body) to go with it!!

Little Gavin

I grabbed this info when I was at the cancer center yesterday. Go to this website and read about this tiny little guy. Maybe someone out there can be of help to them.

www.giftforgavin.org

Today's Update

Curt and I met with the Radiation Oncologist today and were very impressed with him. Dr. Woo seems very thorough, which is a relief to us. As much as I had initially NOT wanted to do radiation, I knew that I would do whatever the dr. suggested. After Dr. Woo took note of my diagnosis, surgery, tumor size, lymph node involvement, family history, etc. he concluded that it would be in my best interest to do radiation as well. He said that with me being so young, generally the cancer is more aggressive compared to a post-menopausal woman. Typically, in the U.S., most dr's don't do radiation unless more than 4 lymph nodes tested positive for cancer (I had 2 positive). That's why I was so certain that I wouldn't have to do it. Dr. Woo told us of a study that has been done over in Europe and is showing that pre-menopausal women (with 1 or more positive nodes)are benefiting from radiation.

He also was questioning why our insurance company refused to pay for my BRCA testing (mutated breast cancer gene). He is almost certain that I will test positive for that gene, especially when I told him about all of the cancer on my dad's side of the family. So Curt and I are extremely glad that we saw Dr. Woo and feel that he will take great care of me!

The radiation won't start until about mid to late June. Dr. Woo also said that they will do a special type of radiation that will protect my heart and lungs. He said it's more expensive, but will "stick it to the insurance company that way, if they are going to refuse to pay for the genetic testing"! Radiation will be the typical Mon-Fri for 6 1/2 weeks and should have no side effects really...maybe some fatigue towards the end, he said. Hopefully my skin won't get too fried, but I'll deal with that if/when I have to.

I also met with my plastic surgeon today. We won't be able to do any more reconstruction until after radiation, which I figured. I talked to Dr. Boll about the bloating in my lower abdomen. She said it might be caused by something similar to a hernia...where she would just have to go in and tighten my muscles back up. It happens from time to time with a procedure like I had done. She will get my CT films of my abdomen/pelvis and see if that is what is causing the distention.

All in all, it was a busy but good day! It's good to know the plan now, instead of wondering what's going to happen.

Just Look...

With today being Mother's Day, my mind is filled with so many thoughts. This is a day of happiness and gratitude for me. And also a day of sadness.

I am so happy beyond description that Curt and I have been blessed with 3 beautiful healthy boys. My biggest dream as a little girl was to be a mom. I couldn't wait to have babies. Although challenging and frustrating at times, motherhood has changed me completely. I never knew I could experience emotions like this. From the PRIDE that I feel for Luke when he overcomes a challenge do to his Asperger's...to the heart wrenching PAIN I felt for Ty when we thought he broke his nose after hitting the corner of the entertainment center...to the JOY I feel when Jake looks up at me and smiles his big buck-tooth smile. I am so grateful for my boys and that I have been chosen to be their mom. They bring so much meaning and fulfilment into my life. I hope and pray that I can be around for them for many more years to come.

My thoughts are also with the other women in our family. Marla (my MIL), Debbie (my step mom), my Grandma Ruth, Curt's grandma Sharleen, Ashlie who lost her mom 3 years ago......and so many others.

And, of course, my mom is always in my thoughts. Today is no different. I try really hard to not let my mind tell me that I'm missing out. Having to deal with my mom's illness, death, and the task of my life moving forward without her has made me a stronger person. My testimony of the Gospel, of my Savior, and of eternal families has grown by leaps and bounds. My relationship with Curt has grown because I have learned to turn to him, and rely on him for strength. I am grateful for the example that my mom set for me, as a wife...mother...sister...friend...neighbor...and daughter of God. She is my hero and exemplified every meaning and description of the word. I hope to be just like her when I grow up.

One thing that I have done to help me get through my difficult times, is to look around me and be aware that there are people out there whose suffering is greater than mine. As I was getting online today, I saw the headlines about the death and destruction caused by tornadoes in Oklahoma, Missouri, and other states. I was, at the time, feeling a little sad for myself because I was missing my mom. But as soon as I read about those people who have lost their homes, loved ones, etc....I was again reminded of how blessed I am. I cannot imagine what those people are experiencing. How would it feel to have my home ripped apart, and possibly lose family members to death in a matter of seconds?? And on Mother's Day??

Yes, it was difficult to watch my mom and sisters suffer with their illnesses. Yes, it was even more difficult to watch my mom and sister pass away. BUT, how grateful I am that I was able to tell them how much I love them...how proud I was of them...that I would be okay and to not worry about me...and to thank them for all that they had done for me BEFORE they died. These are the thoughts that I have had over the course of 4+ years. It also helps take the focus off of "me" and has helped pull me through some very dark times.

My advice is for everyone to just stop...and look around. Look for those who may be struggling or suffering in any way. Realize what blessings you have been given. Maybe it will help us want to reach out more to others and do what we can to lighten their burden.

Time For an Upgrade

So I've been thinking lately.....I'm ready to trade in Lola (she's the name of my wig, for those who don't know). I'm ready for something new!! The lady with the American Cancer Society told me I could switch it for a different one at any time. I think I just might have to do that next week. WATCH OUT!! You just never know what I'll end up with. I might just decide to become a firey red head! Stay tuned for pictures of my new "do". Candice and Erica will provide the new name for her so you KNOW it will be a good one!

The other day I learned why I should never be wearing dear Lola when opening the oven door. The poor girl got a few of her hairs singed! I fixed it though, and she's as good as new.

On another note, last week's chemo went well. My bone pain wasn't as bad this time around. Yesterday (Wed.) I had my 2nd mugga scan done. It checks the function of my heart and is done periodically throughout treatments to make sure the chemo hasn't damaged it. Hopefully it will come back okay. I'm not too worried about it, but, you know, I've only got ONE heart. So hopefully it will be able to keep on ticking for many more years!

Next week is full of appointments.....
.....Monday morning...see the Radiologist
.....Monday afternoon....see the Plastic Surgeon
.....Tuesday....bloodwork
.....Thursday...Chemo#7 (Yay! 1 more to go after this one!)
.....Friday morning...Neulasta shot

Mix in a little housework, laundry, homework, bathing, diaper changing, cooking, texting, Wii playing, etc. etc. and that pretty much sums up my week.

Today's Update

My CatScan came back fine, which is what we expected. It did show two ovarian cysts this time and some inflammation in my uterine lining, nothing to worry about, though. Dr. Kellogg said the inflammation might be due to my "cycle" (TMI!). Some lucky women have no cycle while on chemo, but not me! I think I'm more regular now than ever before. Strange.

Anyhoo...now that I've probably made a lot of faces blush (men in particular who may be reading this)....The dr's office will also be calling me to set up an appointment to consult with the Radiologist. I guess it would be a good thing to get his opinion. My bloodwork all came back fine, too, so Dr. Kellogg said we should be able to continue doing chemo every 2 weeks! I will be done in 4 WEEKS! We might have to throw a big PART-A to celebrate!

After I blogged some this morning, I realized that those nasty pills left a gross taste in my mouth. So I decided to eat some Nerds and M&M's to get rid of it. It worked! I sat on the couch doing my word puzzles until Jake woke up at 5:40am. We rocked in the rocking chair until the other brothers joined us around 6.

No rest for the weary around here!

Chemo #6

I have chemo today at 9am and see the oncologist after, at 1:30pm. I had to wake up at 3am to take more Decadron (steroid) and now I can't go back to sleep. What else is there to do but blog?

I will hear more about my CT results and if/when I need to see the Radiologist (for possible radiation) when I see Dr. Kellogg today. I will update on what I find out later today.

In the meantime, I am still feeling pretty darn good considering. I am excited to get one more treatment under my belt. After today, only 2 more to go!!! Yay for me!

P.S. I'm disappointed in the Suns' performance in the Play Offs! Hopefully next season will be even better than this one. And here's to hoping that we can go to more games next season, too! Such fun!!